

"Unfortunately, a lot of people love to share their sob stories. Sometimes, you're just in need of a quick rebound after heartbreak - but Ettin says that even if that's the case, conversations about your ex are still off-limits. Westend61 / Getty Images Don't talk about your exes If you want to bring up the future, hone in what they want - dream jobs, destinations on their bucket list and so on. "I always say, I don’t care if you leave that first date having learned nothing about the other person other than that you smiled, you laughed, you felt good, you had a good time and you want to see them again," Ettin adds. So it turns out the recipe for happiness not only exists - it’s as close as the back of a Bisquick box.As hard as it may be, try to not get too carried away.

At one point, I might have said, ‘There’s no way in hell’ to that, but we’re happy together.” Said Pinson: “Right now I’m living with a guy who rollerblades and wears cutoff denim shorts. “Someone can embody all the embarrassing characteristics, but if he makes you delicious pancakes for breakfast, for example, it can negate all of it.” “They’re sort of like ‘get out of jail free’ cards,” Pinson said. “And after that, swagger and confidence can overcome a lot.”Īnd the Dealbreaker writers acknowledge what they’ve dubbed “dealmakers.”
DATING FAUX PAS FREE
“First, if you’re under 21 you get a free pass,” Rakieten said. If you happen to recognize a little bit of yourself as Exhibit A for the offenses chronicled in “Undateable” or at Dealbreaker, there’s still hope.

You rarely find a scintillating, fascinating, brilliant, sexy person wearing Crocs.” “It’s a general example of where they’re coming from.” Or as Horwitz puts it: “It’s usually indicative of a much larger problem. “It’s not so much about what someone’s wearing or if they slip up and say something that makes you want to write them off,” Pinson explained. Dave Horwitz and Marisa Pinson, a once romantically linked couple who have spent the past year of their lives compiling hilarious instances of relationship-ruining behavior (entries include “You’re an American Apparel Model” and “You Still Wear Your High School Class Ring”) on their Dealbreaker blog, recently inked a deal for a book that’s due out sometime before next Valentine’s Day. “Undateable” isn’t the only upcoming tome to tackle the topic. I don’t think a guy is going on a date and saying: ‘Oh, my God, this girl is wearing this queer Cynthia Rowley blouse.’?” “If you’re a suburban white guy who decides to dress like Lil Wayne, it says a whole lot more about you than just choosing the wrong color sneakers.”Ĭo-author Coyle thinks that because women have traditionally invested more time in the way they look, “in those first five minutes after meeting someone, we’re more attuned to it. “And what woman doesn’t enjoy a little makeover? At the same time, there’s a range” of infractions. “We put in a lot of those because they’re so easily fixable,” Rakieten said.

DATING FAUX PAS MANUAL
Which makes the forthcoming book “Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex” by Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle, due in stores next month, a kind of field manual of future-foreclosing fashion faux pas that ranks infractions such as high-waisted dad jeans, novelty belt buckles, “mandannas” and Ed Hardy gear on a scale from “Red Flag” (tube socks) to “Kiss of Death” (Speedos).Īlthough Rakieten and Coyle catalog some of the cringe-worthy things men say (“Come to poppa,” “Booyah!”) and do (bring a baseball glove to a professional game, pop the collar on a polo shirt), the first half of the book focuses on the laundry list of wardrobe malfunctions that threaten future bliss. “And research shows that’s usually within the first 15 to 20 seconds,” said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and author of 15 books on relationships. That’s right although we’ve been taught not to judge a book by its cover, experts say that when it comes to calibrating long-term compatibility, the reality is that what men wear is the first criterion that women use to judge. And the stakes are as high as the waist on those dad jeans.
DATING FAUX PAS PATCH
Unhappily unattached menfolk of America, that soul patch beneath your lip might be discouraging a potential soul mate from sticking around through your first date.
